08.09.16

RELEARNING PATIENCE

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i think i can safely say i’ve always been an impatient person. it’s something i’ve been thinking more and more about recently. the past year or two of my life, i’ve learned to be alone. the past 6 months i even got pretty good at it. i’ve focused on self-love and independence and i’ve seen such wonderful benefits from it. but my work doesn’t stop here.

i’m not happy with my need for immediate distraction and convenience (checking social media, ordering dinner on postmates, texting with friends etc). it’s something i really want to work on. just patience in general. i wrote a comment on this photo yesterday about the amount of information we are taking in on social media and it sparked a lot of conversation that still has my head turning today about it.

i decided it’s time to start using my time more wisely. slowly cooking dinner and listening to new music by myself. reading the news in the morning before i start working. taking a walk. reading more books on my patio in the sunshine. driving around at sunset. just sitting and thinking. it may sound silly or cliche, but it’s something that’s become really important to me. prioritizing my time. pushing through uncomfortable silence or even boredom and teaching myself how to enjoy it. regaining my attention span. fighting against overstimulation.

i figure the only way to start…is to just start. last night i laid on my couch, resisted the tv, listened to hours of music and didn’t touch my phone. every few minutes i would get kinda antsy, or the urge to do something else. by the end of it, i was relaxed and ready for bed. it made me realize how much i need this to happen.

sooooo. got any good summer book recommendations for me? any tips on how you worked on a similar issue? always appreciate your thoughts. xx bri

photo here

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31 COMMENTS

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    Haley says:

    Hell yeah, girl! This is so important. I highly recommend The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt to anyone who wants to fall in love with reading. It also motivated me to write more! Having magazines sent to your house helps too.

    Erica says:

    YES! Ah, this is so hard to grapple with! Social media is inherently chemically addictive–the studies show that it releases a dopamine hit in your brain anytime you open up an app, see notifications, etc. I am definitely aware that is totally rewiring my already attention-challenged brain and making it increasingly difficult to moderate. And quite frankly, it’s scaring me. But it’s true, you HAVE to fight through the withdrawals, the boredom, the fidgety-ness, the loneliness, the FOMO….all of it. And you’ll come out the other side feeling so much more human, clear-headed, calm, and ironically, MORE connected to the people around you.

    Colleen Clark says:

    Ready Player One is an imaginative page turner but also one that touches on the themes of technology and our connections to one another. It’s a total blast to read and you’ll get so much out of it. Also Night Film.

    Brandi Rios says:

    Yes! I am doing a book club meeting this Thursday to talk about The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I think my next go to will be The Girls by Emma Cline.

    Ale says:

    Good in Bed is a funny, awesome read!

    Andrea says:

    I’m super impatient too, so this post is perfect for me! I agree that social media and constantly being on your phone makes it worst! It’s important to unplug and really enjoy all of the wonderful things that life has to offer!

    http://www.thebeautydojo.com

    richele says:

    a lot of yoga classes gets you really quiet – it changed my life. I started with one class a week and at my height I was at 4-5.

    sadly, back injuries have taken me out of the yoga game but I’m on to swimming, which is nice and peaceful as well.

    Allie Mackin says:

    Yes kind of sad how as a society we are kind of over grown toddlers that can’t go 10 mins w/o being entertained. I live in NY and everywhere you go you see people walking with their heads down looking at their phones.
    NY is too crowded a place for that. Plus umm you in NY! What? The city itself is not entertaining enough. It really is kind of pathetic. And I feel like there is starting to be a backlash against social media. One well known blogger was complaining that IG use to so easy but now she has to be very strategic with it. Pinterest does not allow you to embed links etc.
    I just think social media is getting over blown and people are burning out. I want big gorgeous photos. I want to read a magazine, or a book or a blog.
    And I am tired of the embracement of mediocrity. I want talent and curation.

    Sydney says:

    Hi Bri–I sent you an email last week regarding yoga nidra meditation– which helps a variety of issues including anxiety, depression, and other stress-related emotional and physical complaints. If you are interested in trying it out, let me know. First session’s on me.

    mai says:

    inspiring read: Big Magic
    fun read: The Royal We

    Sophia Castano says:

    I love these honesty posts. At least that’s what I call them. The moments we, your audience, get to hear your raw thoughts on personal subject matters because seriously nothing is more relatable and it is so refreshing. So thank you. As for good books, I really love The Happiness Project, Flowers for Algernon, and The Help. Sending light and love your way!

    Jackie Castimore says:

    Hey Bri,

    I’ve decided to do the same over this summer and take more time away from social media, internet, and netflix. I’ve actually been able to read quite a few books and it’s been really great. Normally the only books I read are college textbooks which isn’t the best. Ha. Anyway, if you’re looking into reading some good ones, I suggest The Glass Castle by Jeanette Wells (it’s not a new book but I read it in one sitting it was that good, an incredible story to say the least) and also When Breathe Becomes Air was an amazing book as well. A tear-jerker, but amazing. And if you’re more into novels, The Girls by Emma Cline was pretty good too. Happy reading!

    My favorite book this summer has been Moody Bitches. It was written by a psychologist/psychiatrist and she tells you everything about your body’s hormones, what happens during your period, how birth control affects you, why you fall in love with certain people… It’s really been a fascinating read!

    Casey says:

    As for books “Sweetbitter” by Stephanie Danler is amaaaaaaazing! (Full disclosure: she finished writing it during her Artist Residency at my Inn.) Such a poet at heart, but so dang readable. It’s about the dark/sexy/surprising world of behind the scenes at high end restaurants. The cover alone seems very up your alley!

    mary says:

    I recommend harry potter to anyone and everyone. Any time of year. Its SO GOOD!!

    Cait says:

    I agree! I have an hour commute on the train to work. THis morning, I wasn’t able to get a seat so stood in front of the window. It wasn’t possible for me to pull my book/phone out and hold on to the train. So I just looked outside for the whole ride with no podcasts playing in my ears. I tried to be present in the moment. I got to work so relaxed.

    Leah says:

    Thanks so much for talking about this (and especially the overstimulation). It all gets overwhelming and time-sucking.

    I’ve been reading:
    Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes and it has really helped me develop my thoughts on femininity and the strength and importance of my time.

    Also Big Magic, which is popular for good reason! It’s worth multiple reads 🙂

    And yoga. Lots of yoga.

    Seri says:

    Bri
    I can definitely relate to this need of yours. I’ve got this “want-to-disconnect” feeling that I actually find very pleasing… Not sharing that much/keeping things to myself makes me feel like I’m wrapped up in secrecy and this gives us the idea of how much social media is now intertwined with our lives…

    I highly recommend One, No One and One Hundred Thousand by italian genius Luigi Pirandello. This is my favourite book ever. It’s a wonderful cause for reflection, I just love it!

    Bryanna says:

    Liz Gilbert’s book Creative Magic and her podcast that goes along with it are amazing, and something you will totally be into (if you haven’t already dug into her work, that is). Tim Ferris also has a very thought provoking podcast. Rising Strong by Brene Brown is a phenomenal book about courage and showing up. Any of Brene Brown’s books are wonderful for self-growth. Oh and Into the Magic Shop by James Doty. SO many great books out there! And for good measure, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. That book was an addicting read.

    Hannah Marion says:

    I love that you opened this discussion. I am addicted to my cell phone and I know it. I would love to see a post about how to break the addiction. I leave my phone on silent the majority of the time and leave it in my car when I am in the office but usually end up needing it for work or clients get frustrated they can’t reach me. Any suggestions?

    Melissa Prince Martin says:

    Books:
    1. “The last painting of Sara de Vos” by Dominic Smith (enjoyed every moment of it)
    2. “The sleepwalkers guide to dancing” by Mira Jacob (good to listen to- the narrator is fantastic!)
    3. “The perfume collector” by Kathleen tessaro (beautiful book)
    4. “Kitchens of the great Midwest” by J. Ryan stradel (if you read nothing else- read this one!)
    I hope this helps, books are my weapon against social media obsessiveness.

    emily says:

    if you want a great series of books that explore themes on female friendship, check out Elena Ferrante’s The Neapolitan Novels. They’re a slow burn, so perfect for practicing quiet and intentionality. I like the presence conversation 🙂

    curated travels says:

    Haha, completely relate. Welcome to your 30s. 😉

    Anonymous says:

    Just added all of these recommendations to my reading list! Thanks
    – The Miniturist
    – Star Dust
    – The Girl with Seven Names
    – I know why the caged bird sings
    – I am Pilgrim (epic thriller)

    Leah says:

    Love this! I feel the same way about wanting to use my time more wisely and do this with more intention. Thanks for sharing.

    No suggestions, but thank you for this post.

    “i’m not happy with my need for immediate distraction and convenience (checking social media, ordering dinner on postmates, texting with friends etc)”

    Those words rang too true for me. I feel like I am always on my phone, my computer, with the TV playing in the background. I too really need to work on this!

    Fabiola says:

    Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I know you will loooove it!

    Elaine says:

    I could take a leaf out of your book Bri!
    I read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara this Summer and found it a devistating but beautiful read that I couldnt put down.

    Siobhan says:

    Late Fragments by Kate Gross is a beautiful book about life. For novels I’m trying to make my way through some classics….currently on The Beautiful and Damned and moving on to The Old Man and The Sea after that. I think reading older books with a different approach to language means I have to concentrate more which is challenging but beneficial!

    McKenzie says:

    Not a book recommendation, but yoga! it takes a bit of time and learning to just “be” but it’s the one time I can truly get away and be focussed on myself and my practice minus the cell phones and racing thoughts of to-do lists. Even 30 minutes to 1 hour a day (which can be a lot for some people) is major.

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