you may or may not have noticed i’ve been a little quiet lately. some people have noticed my energy has shifted some. i’ve been going through some personal issues that i haven’t really felt comfortable to share in this space until now.


click through to read…

last month, i decided to end my almost 6 year relationship. this was a decision that was extremely difficult to make and i’ve been taking some time to reflect on it. i’ve signed the lease into my name only and it’s surreal. arian is such an amazing person and i am so lucky to have had him in my life. i am SO thankful that we are going on our new paths while remaining really friendly, loving, and mature with each other. most of my relationships in the past ended and we never spoke again, but this one feels very different. very grown up and compassionate. i met arian when i was in my early 20’s, working next to him at my first 9-5 job at a headphone company. those were very formative years of our lives, and sometimes people just don’t change in the same direction. this was a very scary move for me, but i knew i had to explore this feeling i had in my heart. you never know if you might regret a decision like this later, or what will come of it. i cry as i write this post because it’s hard to share something that’s so personal and intense and i just hope it’s treated with loving thoughts. looking back, some of my favorite memories have been with arian. i truly care about him so much and want only the very best for him. life is going to be strange for a while. this is a big adjustment. but i know someday i will look back on this fork in the road and everything will be more clear. at least i hope so.

i questioned for a while whether to even share this at all. but this blog is a reflection of my life, it always has been, and it felt like the right thing to do.

i love you arian, thank you for truly being my best friend.

(image credit here)


Add your own

    I ended a 10 year relationship in my 20s, and although it was incredibly difficult, it was the best decision for me. (We also remained good friends.) I took a couple of years to travel the world, and focus on my career and myself. A couple of years later, I met the love of my life. It’s a huge change ending a long term relationship and it can be devastating, but it does get easier. Sending lots of love your way. It takes guts to share something so personal. xoxo

    Diana says:


    I have been a long-time reader of your blog but have never commented. I am stunned at the timing of this post: I am going through something quite similar and the decision to take the plunge is incredibly difficult. I am feeling the urge to end a four-year relationship where we lived together for 3 of those, but without any truly defining reasons other than growing in different directions, it feels hard to justify. I just wanted to thank you for being brave enough to write this post; I barely feel brave enough to have these feelings on my own, much less discuss them. Gives me a little more courage.

    Stay brave,

    Yolonda says:

    Thanks for sharing your story, I really appreciate the courage it takes to do such a thing, just as much course to decide that it was time to move on with your life. Stay inspired, this will past. Hugs, Yolonda

    Aa says:

    Breakups are so tough, and I am sending you many warm thoughts. I commend your courage and honesty to post about something so deeply personal. I’m sure that all your readers can relate to your situation and feel for you. After my last breakup a few years ago, I took the time to invest time in myself, my career, and my happiness. It was very hard in the beginning, but these past few years of singledom have been the best of my life. I wish you well. XO

    Emily says:

    *hugs* my heart goes out to you. It says a lot that you both can stay friendly. Follow your dreams love

    Olivia M. says:

    Ah. Odd timing. I just got dumped (not pleasant, not amicable, dissimilar from your mature situation) after 3 years…writing about it was hard. Sometimes I wake up and feel like it’s all unreal. But I’m still waking up, and that’s something! Good luck to you, Bri. Your creativity is beautiful, and if this change is what you needed then it was extremely brave to take it.

    Tamara says:

    Thank you for sharing such a brave post. It will bring help to others seeking truth and wisdom in their relationships as well. May you and Arian be blessed in your paths.

    Adrianne says:

    I ended an 8 year relationship in my 20’s and it was extremely difficult. But here several years later, I am so glad that I did. Good luck! Allow yourself to cry, and it will be easier in time.

    Emma says:

    Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope you can move through it smoothly and you will emerge completely refreshed and ready to take on life head on! It will be exciting to re-discover yourself and see how you change even more once you have spent some time alone. I really admire the way you are speaking about him. That says a lot about you- you should be proud!

    Brittney G. says:

    Thinking about you and sending you good thoughts, Bri. Yes, life will feel strange for a while, but it gets better…lots better!

    Sue says:

    “Let everything happen to you
    Beauty and terror
    Just keep going
    No feeling is final”

    ~ Rilke

    thank you for sharing so openly.

    Bri, while we don’t know one another in ‘real life’ know that I think you are very inspiring and oh so strong! Relationships grow and evolve and sometimes the only choice to make is one in which you allow one another to move forward without the other. So much love to you…

    Alex says:

    I am always so pleased when bloggers share the more personal parts of their lives, which is why I think I love your blog so much. Yes, it’s filled with all the lovely thing in your life, the ones many can be truly envious of, but that is never the whole, and so often I find everyone tries to hide the less desirable sides of their life. Which is fair, your personal life is your own, but it’s so refreshing when someone is able to be relatable because they are just real and don’t have a fear of being human and acknowledging that things aren’t always as they seem. So thank you for sharing. I’m sorry this is a hard time for you, but I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and if you have a feeling, its probably not wrong. Take care! I hope this is a new, beautiful chapter for you.

    Tiffany says:

    stay strong, and remember life is always beautiful no matter what happens <3

    Tiffany B. says:

    I knew something was wrong! I have followed you online (I also took your social media class) for a while and I just knew something was going on. Thank you for sharing, I know it’s hard. We are here for you girl! (Hug)

    maggie says:

    I am so sorry you have to go through this, Bri. I am a hopeless romantic, and any time a relationship of mine has ended, I thought everything was going to end. But I’m still here. Last year I went through an AWFUL break up and finally, am becoming friends with this ex. You never know where life will lead you or if you and Arian will reconnect a few years down the road or if you’ll just be best friends. I think you are taking it very well and know that you gained a lot from this. Sending you good vibes.

    Lindsay says:

    Ugh, girl I totally feel you. I’m going through the exact same thing. Ending a 5 year relationship with someone I thought was ‘my person’ – and sticking to it- is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Just stay mindful of your reasons for it and take this time to be selfish and think about what you want and where you want to be. No one knows you better than you, and soon you will be so much happier for your brave decision. Keep your adorable chin up! xo

    Madi says:

    Dearest Bri,

    Be brave you, you’ve got the strength to know yourself and embark on this new part of your life.

    If you’re ever in the mid-west I’ve got big comfy chairs, an excessive tea collection, and a dog named Izzy who is best friend to all.


    many hugs to you, girl. i’m impressed you shared this story. i’m sure people would have asked (maybe the have already) eventually, but it took big balls to go there like this. you rock. your maturity on the subject astounds me. good luck adjusting to this new path. i’m sure you’ll walk it well.

    jacob phelps says:

    sending lots of love your way.

    Theresa says:

    Bri and Arian, I am sending both of you tremendous love and courage during this time. It is never easy to make such a big life change when you do love and care for someone but you know when the change is necessary. I hope for the very best for all of you and I believe the right outcome will come about.

    Rhonda says:

    Thank you for sharing, Bri! I know from personal experience that this is so difficult. I’m proud of you for listening to that small voice inside and exploring those feelings. Lots of love being sent your way πŸ™‚


    Brianna says:

    Thank you for having the courage to share something so personal Bri. It’s one of the reasons everyone here loves you.

    I can also say when your gut and heart know it’s time for change, you have to trust it 100%. So don’t doubt yourself Bri, you’re making the hard but right decision for you, even if you can’t see where it leads just right now. Have faith.

    And Arian, we all love you! It’s amazing to have gotten to know both of you together in this space. I wish the best for you both down whatever road your lives take you.

    Kelsey says:

    Bri, thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who just went through a mature break-up also, it’s still so comforting to be reminded that other people go through this too. “Sometimes people don’t change in the same direction” – it is so unbelievably true; sometimes you grow apart because you’re changing, and you need to change in order to be the people you need to be. Sometimes you need to grow/change independently for a little while to figure out things, and you can’t always be with another person to do that.

    You will be okay, and you are going to continue to do incredible things!

    “Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

    Skye says:

    Having been through something similar I was brought to tears reading this post.

    Those years were incredible – give yourself time so you can move forward with confidence. You made the right decision for both of you. In five years time you’ll be able to look back on it and think of the great things you shared, rather than letting it drag on and looking back to think only of the bad.

    Wishing you both all the best. x

    Cat says:

    So sorry to hear this. Finally found myself and new love in my 30’s. Keep doing you, stay true to yourself and your life. Always loved seeing the two of you in photos together but look forward to seeing this new chapter you’re entering! xo from the east coast

    Gnome Lover says:

    I feel for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am a blog lurker, but decided to post today. I hope it gets better for both of you soon. As I told my son last night, “this too shall pass.”


    Oleah says:

    bri, you are an awesome person & i know that this decision is a difficult one. i only wish the best for both of you. change is scary, but sometimes it’s necessary & i think this will be both an exciting & challenging new step in your life. stay strong!

    xoxo, Oleah

    Heidi says:

    sending loads of love your way in this new phase of life

    Kailani says:

    I’m so sorry, Bri. Even if it’s for the best breakups are so heart wrenching. I’m sure it was really difficult to share, but your readers (me included) really appreciate your openness and how relatable you are.

    kelly says:

    Sending you warm thoughts & virtual hugs. When my 4.5 year relationship ended, it was the scariest thing ever, but I am SO grateful for the experience and for how it made me grow as a person. And I’m happier and more fulfilled now than I was when I was unhappily with someone. Thanks for being open with your readers – we support you and love you!

    Jessica D. says:

    Hugs to you! I know it’s tough but time heals all.

    Sending you love– from someone who also is going through a very personal life change (divorce) and has yet to share it on her blog. If you are being open and honest with yourself, you are making the right decision. It’s scary and it’s vulnerable, but know you are adored and loved by your readers and, even better, by your friends and family. Thanks for sharing with us.

    Andrea says:

    :::hugs::: You know in your heart you did the right thing…if something not quite right, or like something was missing, it probably was. I ended an eight year relationship almost five years ago. At the time it was super scary because we moved across the country together and didn’t have any family in this area. Now, I look back and can’t believe that was only five years ago, it feels like a completely different life, and a completely different girl. Leaving that relationship was the best thing I ever did…it allowed me to grow, to improve in so many ways, and most importantly find out who I was as an adult. You’ll get through this lady!



    I sensed something was up πŸ™ sending you love and positive vibes!

    Caitlin says:

    It takes a ton of courage to take a leap like this. It’s terrifying, but you seem to have a good grip on yourself and on life (as much as any of us can). It sounds like the right decision, if a really hard one. Best of luck getting through! Good vibes from all of us here on the internet…

    April says:

    tear drops….I know exactly how you feel. I once had to end a long term relationship and the pain and sadness is indescribable. You take each day slowly and as much time as you need to heal. I know you have a supportive people around you and they will help make each day easier. You are such an amazing person, Bri, and whatever the future holds for you both, I know will be for the best. Whether you find love in each other again, or love with someone else.

    Be proud of yourself for making a hard decision. Wishing you all the best.

    Abi says:

    Keep your head up friend! It’ll take time to feel normal again so don’t be too hard on yourself. Thanks for sharing your heart and being vulnerable.

    Amanda says:

    Only positive thoughts and hopes are being sent your way. This is tough, but no matter what happens, you’ll be better because of it.

    anastasia says:

    oh sorry to hear this..such a hard decision for you!! Wishing you all the best (hugs)

    Anna says:

    i am pretty shocked right now, i didn’t expect this. i think it must have been a really hard decision to make and i also think you are so, so brave to share it here. honestly, i admire you. sending all my love to you

    laura says:

    a big hug to both of you! it you think this is the right choice for you, it will be so.

    rachael says:


    We don’t know each other and I live in a very different country (I’m from Paris) but I know what you’re through. I made the same decision 3 years ago with my first love while we were celebrating our 11th anniversary and first year of marriage. This is hard, really, especially when you still love that person in a way, but in a different way. It’s been really difficult, I cried so many time, I was anxious I made the right decision. And now I know I did. We’re now very good friends and more, like brothers and sisters, we grew up together as adults, you can never erase that. I hope you’ll have the same πŸ˜‰

    Sally says:

    So sorry to hear this Bri, but it sounds like you have the best attitude for this situation. Hope you’re ok over the next few months – it seems like you have fabulous friends who I’m sure will be there for you! I also came out of a 6 year relationship at the end of last year, it was completely heartbreaking at the time, but a few months on I feel so much better and more myself than I have done in ages! Hope you can stay strong, I’m sure you’ll get through this. Sending happy vibes! x

    Colleen says:

    I’m really glad that you shared this because I recently ended a 5 year relationship. It’s a little strange to be going through a huge break up when everyone else is so bent on getting married. Now I don’t feel so alone. Hang in there!

    mariell. says:

    <3 i wish you a happy and healthy break-up.

    Hannah says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this but I’m sure if your situation is anything like mine it may just end up being the start of something beautiful in your future. Oh the timing. I’m in the process of ending a 5 years relationship right now so I can understand what you are going through right now. To new paths and new adventures!


    Sara says:

    That must have been so hard to write. I completely understand and respect your decision to share in this way. I recently (last summer, but it still feels very new) ended things with someone I had been seeing for 7 years. It was a very hard and messy and terrible break-up and one that left us not talking or a part of each other’s lives anymore. I am happy for you that your break-up was not as messy as mine, but understand that it may be equally as painful. It takes a long time to heal from these experiences, sometimes, and, please remember, that you are grieving a loss and that grief is not always linear. It’s okay to feel all the different feelings of grief, not necessarily in order and sometimes more than one at once. Be gentle with yourself and surround yourself with good friends and family. Do what makes your soul happy. And, though I know we don’t know each other, feel free to reach out anytime if you need someone to talk to about this. (Even if that’s months down the road.)

    Tatiana says:

    I am thankful that you wrote this post, for many reason. First of all, yes, we readers do notice when something isn’t as it should be, and at least for me, it helps to know the context in which things are happening.

    As a human, and virtual friend :), I am sending out my good vibes to you. This was obviously a decision you proactively made and not something that ”just happened.” You need to be free to be you, and to find someone ultimately that complements that ‘you’- and if someone doesn’t do that, than it’s better to keep them as a friend. Change is inherent to life, and if we try to stand strong against its tides, we will be exhausted.

    hanna says:

    Dear Bri, thanks for being so honest and sharing your thoughts with us! This makes your blog even more precious to me! Hanna

    β€œThe best method for making things flow in your life is to simply think about what you wish for, what you want. Just believe that what you want will appear. Wishing and believing are the best rituals, because whatever you think and believe influences your life. Therefore, never give up believing.” – Tulku Lobsang

    Paige says:

    Bri, you are brave and strong. Thank you for trusting us with this personal and difficult time in your life. Prayers and support are coming from every which way. xo

    Audrey says:

    These decisions are so hard but I understand where you’re at. Wishing the best for both you and Arian.

    Allison says:

    Sending big virtual hugs your way!

    Jessica says:

    Dear Bri, thank you for being so honest. I have enjoyed following your blog and your strength shines through all of your work here. It may seem difficult now but you will overcome this heartbreak. I am sending positive vibes to you! Great things are ahead!

    Nicole says:

    I know how hard this is! I did this in my late 20s as well and I remember thinking that I was going to die because it felt so bad. I wanted to change my mind so many times. But our heart gut is rarely wrong even with amazing and wonderful people. I’m sending you much love and support…

    Marcia says:


    You astound me with your raw emotion and fearlessness. I applaud you! This post (your entire blog actually) is truly inspiring — please know that I am praying for you, and send virtual hugs (St. Louis is pretty far!), break ups are never “easy”, and you will find your life’s happiness πŸ™‚


    Muriel says:

    Bri, I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I went through that same moment a few years ago but you come out much stronger. Sometimes people do grow apart and I’m glad you guys are staying friends. Thanks for sharing and I’m sure life has a ton of more adventures in store for you. [hugs]

    Rachel says:

    Its a brave choice and difficult not to mention it in your blog when it is such a time of consuming emotion. I broke up with someone in my 20’s who I’d been with for five years, he ended with me but I wouldn’t change what happened for anything. I know you will worry about Arian but life changes and he sounds, like you, someone who will make a path for himself which is right when the time is right. I look back and know that the break up was the right thing. In my heart of hearts, I knew at the time as well. I wish you well, there’s a tough road ahead for a while, but all will be good in time.

    shawnee says:

    hi bri. just wanted to say i’m thinking of you + sending good vibes your way. thank you for being real + brave to share. xoxo

    Oh, grrrrrl.

    Be kind to yourself, love.


    casey says:

    lots and lots of hugs for you. you’re ridiculously brave. I’m going through something similar (only been together for 3 years), but it’s so difficult and weird and you have those strange feelings when you wake up in the morning where you’re just confused from the second you open your eyes. I really really thank you for posting this because it gives me a bit of confirmation on what’s happening in my own life. know that you’re never alone. I’ve read your blog nearly every day for years now, and I just want you to know that you’re an absolute inspiration (not only in this situation but with every beautiful thing you post!). keep listening to your heart and keep staying true to yourself <3

    I went through this all of March and April. It is terrible. But you are so strong and even stronger now! “Everything happens for a reason” is what I like to believe in! It will all be ok πŸ™‚

    charlotte says:

    oh bri – sending love and many many hugs from Baltimore

    Carolina says:

    Bri, I beeing through the same situation, after 10 years of relationship. And now looking back, my last 8 months have been of self discovery and evolution. Just let the time do his thing… Lots of love, and rembember everything is going to be ok, just belive… I leave you a great quote..

    “Being in crisis sucks, but it also gives you a valuable opportunity to reshape your life, in a way you never would have done when you were in your normal zone” Anonymous

    Raven says:

    Oh Bri, I’m so sad for your heart, but so, so proud of you. Last year I left my marriage of fifteen years, and my heart is still broken. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Sometimes the right decisions hurt so bad. But it doesn’t make them wrong decisions. You’re in my thoughts & heart, Bri! Keep taking care of you, first and foremost. Everything will fall into place. xoxo

    Andrea says:

    Sometimes the right decisions are just as painful of the wrong decisions. At least in the short run. In the long run they kead to greater happiness. Hugs and support.

    Annie says:

    Sending support your way, and the way of everyone else who has commented saying they’re also going through a break up. For what it’s worth, I offer this: http://www.livesimplybyannie.com/mondays-meditation-on-breaking-up/
    I hope it helps the healing even an ounce.

    Helena says:

    Bri, I totally understand what you’re going through! My relationship (4 years) ended about two months ago as well, and it feels just as you describe it. Thank you for sharing. I wish I could give you some kind of advice, but I’ve found that maybe advice isn’t what we need the most. Having people to talk to who just listen helps a lot. And also spending time with friends, especially people who have gone through the same before. I also try writing, painting, and whatever feels right. And I’ve been reading a lot lately, trying to understand why things went a certain way. Although that’s probably just some kind of self-deception of giving myself hope. I personally took a break from blogging as well, but I didn’t manage to share as openly as you did (http://blog.helenalapetite.com/2014/04/change.html#.U2oZ0a1dWsA). Someone told me to take my time and not to rush through change or adjust my pace of change for anyone else – I think that’s very true. Take your time.
    I wish I could find the right words to write this, it just feels like I’d love to chat to you in person. So weird when you read someone else’s blog for a long time and you feel like you know them, but actually you’ve never met them. But just think of this as if it comes from someone who is listening to you and knows what it feels like. πŸ™‚

    Mollie says:



    Katie says:

    Bri, you are so brave to talk about this. And break ups like this are some of the hardest to know if you’re doing the right decision. But listen to your heart and gut, they never lead you wrong. Big hug!! Give yourself time and be as gentle as you can with yourself.

    Audra says:

    I’m new to your blog, but am so glad I discovered it. I’m going through an almost identical situation (ending a 5 year relationship) and it’s so emotional and strange. Thank you so much for posting this, because it’s helpful to know I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. I’m hopeful that we’re able to handle this maturely and stay friends, as you say you are. Stay strong and know that better days are ahead!

    Monica says:

    It took a lot of guts to share this. I wish only the best for you and Arian. I am old enough to be your mother or maybe even grandmother! I divorced my husband after 28 years of marriage and two kids. It needed to be done. He has remarried, I have not, but we are friendly because we have our children in common. He was my best friend too. The split was rocky at first but eventually things settled down. Soon you’ll be able to look back objectively. One thing I learned — don’t drink a bottle of wine and then decide it’s a good idea to call him up!

    Nicole says:

    That is extremely brave, Bri. Even though it’s tough, I’m sure you have a great support system and that’s so incredible you two can remain close. Ultimately, no matter how difficult you have to trust you gut–it’s usually right on course. <3

    danielle says:

    Letting go takes courage and strength. When my last relationship ended (not my choice, but not a bad choice on his part) I was a wreck, but I realized I was allowed to be a wreck for a little while. I was allowed to cry and hide, and I was also allowed to have fun when I was ready. During the past 9 months since the break up, I have realized that this break up was for me. He left me because I needed to change (well, we both needed to change and grow) but it brought to light so many things I need to get right before being in a healthier relationship. Not huge issues, but little things, like actually putting myself first once in a while, working on other relationships in my life, really focusing on me in general. He is still one of my best friends, and we held onto our friendship because we spent so much time building it. Sometimes we all need time to find our balance again, alone. and that is just fine! Hugs Hugs Hugs!!!

    Caitlin says:

    I never comment but feel compelled to send you good vibes after reading this. I am going through a similar situation – it’s oh so hard! It sounds like you are dealing with the situation with a lot of grace and maturity. You have communicated so many feelings so clearly which is such a hard thing to do. My mom always says “It all works out in the end” and I am inclined to believe that this is so true, ESPECIALLY when you follow your heart. xoxo

    Anna S. says:

    I am so happy you shared this! I have been in a relationship the last 4 years and really seeing us change in different directions and not sure what I think about it all. We started dating when I graduated high school and now I am about to graduate college and just so much has changed for me and not sure where my life will take me after this. Stay strong! You are truly one of my role models.

    Amy says:

    Thinking of you, xo.

    Caitlin says:

    Reading this post and the comments makes me really glad to see we aren’t alone in these kinds I breakups. I ended a 4.5 year relationship recently that started in my early 20s as well. It’s hard when you love that person still, but realize you aren’t meant to be. You live with them, and you grow with them, and then all of a sudden you’re two totally different people. Starting a serious relationship before you’re a fully formed human is incredibly hard. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that so many of us have gone through something similar. Sending good vibes your way Bri, and to all the other girls on here who have gone through the same! I freaked out for a while that I was making the wrong choice, but eventually you will find the harmony. Hugs to you all.

    kendra says:

    so brave to do it and share it…xo.

    Nicole says:

    Bri, I’ve been a loyal fan of your blog for about a year now and I have so, so much respect for you and your work. You’ve been one of the big inspirations for me as I’m going out on my own as an independent designer. As I read this post, I kept thinking about something a yoga teacher spoke about in a class I took recently (I don’t remember where she said it was from but here it is, paraphrased): At every moment in life, we have two choices: step forward into growth or remain stationary in our comfort zone. You’ve obviously taken a huge step forward into growth and I feel so excited for you.

    Rachel says:

    sending lots of love your way bri!

    Maelle says:

    Sending lots of love to you bri. I’m not going through a similar situation, i have never ended a long relationship but i can feel how tough it is. thinking of you a lot today.

    Taylor says:

    I can imagine the struggle you’re going through, but it’s wonderful to hear that everything ended on the right foot. Although it’s difficult at first, everything will be okay in the end. Sending good vibes to your healing heart.


    Jen Wong // curated travels says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. As with a lot of people who’ve commented so far, I have also dealt with a similar situation. I thought my last relationship was “the one.” It ended with the love and care we had for each other still there but we realized it was better for each of us to go our own ways. We both wished the other the best and with hopes we’d follow the personal dreams we’ve shared with each other. I truly believe there are some people who come into your life, at a certain time, with the purpose of making you a better and stronger person. I have a feeling this is the case in your situation and my own. ::hugs::

    hugs to you. I’ve been there, having ended an even longer relationship to someone I met way too young and loved way too much. we went our own ways and lived our own lives for a while. eventually though, we came back to each other, got married, and are having our second baby together. so you never know what life has in store. xo

    Anonymous says:

    Bri you are an amazing person and you are so strong to share this. It will be okay in the end and I’m positive you will find happiness at the end of all of this.<3 xx

    anne cuddy says:

    Wishing you love and luck. Take care of yourself at this difficult time. <3 Anne

    Jenn says:

    I ended a decade long relationship with the loveliest of boys that I quite literally grew up with. We spent our entire twenties together and it was such a treat to become an adult and grow and explore with a best friend. Ending the relationship was the scariest and saddest time of my life and I was terrified that I had made a mistake for a very long time. But, once the sadness wains and that heavy weight is lifted off your chest, I hope you feel relieved, renewed and excited about your life’s possibilities as I did. All the best!

    Bri- My heart goes out to you right now. I know how hard break ups are, and my prayers are with you as you go through this. Thanks for always being vulnerable and sharing your story. The best is yet to come. xoxo

    Natalie says:

    Sending lots of love your way. (And also good laughs!) It always seems like a good laugh can drastically change your mood and alter your perspective to help you find the good in a situation. I swear, once you are in a rut and you FINALLY have one of those laughs that hurt it always seems like that is when the magic happens. And that is the turning point. From that moment forward things just seem to change for the better. So here’s to more ‘laugh until it hurts’ Bri moments!

    Katie says:

    I love reading your blog, but I’ve never commented before. However, this post resonated with me because I ended an almost 6 year relationship about a month ago, too. It was by far one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make because he is a wonderful person, just not the person I’m meant to be with forever. I felt selfish for hurting him, sad and scared by the uncertainty of what lies ahead – I’m about to move halfway across the country and start my first real job after finishing my PhD – but also exhilarated by the possibilities of starting fresh. Way to be brave and do what you knew you needed to do, even if it was painful to do it.

    Bri, you are so brave, thanks for sharing.
    Love, xx j

    Diana says:

    I read this earlier today and I couldn’t stop thinking about your post because I’m also going through a really tough relationship make/break moment (it feels like the end of the world) and I just wanted to say you are so strong. It takes so much for someone to make that decision and make that change. Six years is a long time to share your life with someone and a lot of people would just stay out of fear. But you show so much strength and it’s very inspiring. This has really resonated with me, so thank you.

    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this, Bri. You are amazing. <3

    Michelle Perenchio says:

    Thank you for sharing such a personal and emotional post. This is full of great advice for others who might be feeling the same way as you but have been less courageous to make a change. xxo

    Elyse says:

    Hang in there, Bri. You’re doing the right thing by listening deep and acting on your gut. You’re a strong, creative, beautiful person and even though NOW sucks…it’ll get better. Thank you for sharing with this community. We’re all rooting for you, always.

    Kelleigh says:

    I suspected this was the reason behind your recent withdrawal, but maybe that’s because I’m super sensitive to heartache at this time.

    Much like you, I am going through a break-up with my long term boyfriend, who is the most amazing man I have ever met. I wonder if I made the right decision in ending our relationship, but I cannot deny that I feel in my heart that we are not on the same road in life. Ultimately that disparity would become overwhelming and destroy what we had together. Knowing the heartache and turmoil you must be going through, all I can say is please don’t close yourself off. Talking about it will really help, and we are here for you and support you. Things will get better, it just takes a while to grow through the pain. Surround yourself with positive people, and know that it’s ok to cry over a lost love, even if you were the one to make the tough decision.

    With much love, understanding, and support.


    Aubrey says:

    It takes a lot of strength to end a relationship, especially when you really love the person – cause they’re also your friend too. I admire you for doing it and talking/writing about it.

    Adriana says:

    Strangely like other people have been commenting.. I had a feeling that you had went separate ways.

    Don’t feel lonely because just like you there is people like me going exactly thru the same situation.

    Hope you feel better and thanks for sharing.
    Hugs πŸ™‚

    Heather says:

    You are brave and beautiful. Lots of love during this difficult transition.

    Brianna says:

    Aww Bri! I remember all too well that feeling of ‘am I doing the right thing?’ when I asked for a divorce from my first husband. I had that same feeling as I prepared to move 2000 miles away from home and you know what? The very first person I met when I moved here (Seattle) was my forever love. And I can look back and say YES, RIGHT THING MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I hope that realization comes to you quickly and that you find your forever love. <3


    Amanda says:

    I just ended my short 1 and a half marriage after being together for 4 years. Our stories sound so similar…we bought a house when I was 20 and I thought I knew so much when I hardly knew myself at all. Now I’m living alone for the first time in my life for the past 3 months, and although it has been difficult, it has also been the best decision for me. I fear regret, too, but I just try to tell myself that in 10 years I don’t want to wish I had left when I first had my doubts. Your emotions are real and genuine, and it takes a brave woman to put it all out there. Stay strong, and trust that someday it will make sense.

    Oh Bri! i’m sending lots of love and hugs to you! (wish i could send you kittens in bowties, too) x

    kristi says:

    Sending lots of love, hugs, and kitty cuddles!! Everyone has to do what’s right for them and I was in a similar situation that unfortunately didn’t end very well but everything happens for a reason! stay strong!! xox

    cindy says:

    hi bri – long-time fan of your site but never commented until i read this post. i just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. i made a very similar decision recently (5+ year relationship, and we lived together for less than a year..) we both love each other and have respect for each other. i didn’t know a ‘mature breakup’ ever existed until… it happened. πŸ™ it was the saddest moment of my life but if i am to be truly honest with myself the ‘change’ was necessary. my heart still hurts as i am still on my path to healing, but i do find joy in getting back to myself again and focusing on the things that make me happy. happiness and sadness in life is cyclical and it seems as if we (and some other girls who are commenting) are on the ‘sadness’ cycle right now but you just have to have faith that everything will work out for the best. THANK YOU for sharing your story. you are so strong, and you are not alone!! i truly wish you and arian the best of luck. <3

    JJ says:

    I rarely comment on your blog, but just an FYI, I read it religiously. I love everything about it! Your style, your inspiration, recipes, everything.

    Anyway, I wanted to say that I hope that this change works out for the best for you. It’s so brave of you to put yourself out there like that, and I really respect that. I hope you stay positive–it’s definitely a difficult situation to be in! Just remember, cherish the good memories, but always keep what’s best for YOU in mind, and stay strong. Best wishes for you, and again, stay positive! Sending hugs your way!

    Emily says:

    Thank you for sharing this with your online community. You don’t owe us anything, but the fact that you shared this incredibly brave and honest. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to think things through and decide what was best for both of you in the long run. Sending you good vibes and the very best thoughts and wishes!

    kimberly says:

    breakups suck, right?

    i truly feel as though it’s harder for the person who chooses to break up with the other, left to wonder/regret while the other gets to feel sad for a while then move on…

    we really do know what’s best for ourselves though. it’s human nature (particularly woman nature) to make excuses and second guess ourselves but ya know, we’ve gotta trust the ol’ gut. even the most loving relationships with the best people can be wrong for us. of course, you know this.

    as always, thank you for your openness. you make all of adore you and we can all truly relate.

    all the best to you

    leanne says:

    you are so brave to share this bri! i chose to end my relationship with my best friend too, as i felt in my heart i had to do this. a few years have passed, we still remain “besties” and i do not regret anything. i wish you all the best xx

    Alaine says:

    You are truly an inspiration, sending lots of love and hugs your way!

    Josephine says:

    As all the comments reinforce, we all experience heartbreak at some point, and knowing that make it just a tiny bit easier.

    Some days will be fine. Some days will suck. It will get easier as the days go by.

    Be patient with yourself.

    Allow yourself to let your friends and loved ones be there for you.

    Do what feels right for you as part of your grieving and healing. Write. Paint. Dance. Sing. Walk. Cry.

    yvonne says:

    Women’s intuition is a great and powerful thing. It’s wonderful you are listening to what you feel. Sending you lots of love and light. Bigs hugs!

    Gracie says:

    I love your blog, it is a lovely space & you bring a lot of beauty to my little world. I hope you feel the invisible support of all the women reading & sending you peace & joy.

    Carol says:

    hey bri. we’ve never met and I am bowled over with your vulnerability and honesty in sharing such an intimate detail of your personal life. you don’t owe anyone an explanation for laying low and yet you do it. I agree with other readers that the reason we love your blog so much isn’t just because it is fun, inspiring and pretty but you are a real person who goes through real things. that sense of community is special in the picture perfect blogosphere. as much as I know it is rough right now I am also kind of excited for you as well. I went through a major heartbreak in my mid 20s and it was devastating. I sank into a deep depression. I had established my identity with this person and now I was on my own. it’s scary and sometimes you wonder if you did the right thing but what I gained from it was a sense of self. I took some time off to be alone to do some self exploration and find out who I am and who I wanted to be. being alone can be a scary concept for most people, especially women and we tend to stay comfortable being in a relationship. what you’re doing is brave and I commend you for it. take the time you need to find yourself again, and learn to love yourself no matter what. big hugs and cheers on your new journey.

    Stefani says:

    Boy & Bear- Southern Sunset [Tunes to soothe the soul]
    I have been dating the same person for almost 8 years now, but this past year just hasn’t been the same and I have never really been sure how to approach this pondering situation in the back of my head. I have been scared, mostly of the ‘unknown’, as well as feeling worried about making a bad decision that I may loose this person forever with the possibility of never being loved like this again. Thank you for expressing your feelings toward your relationship. This was very empowering to read, I have never really been able to justify my feelings about the relationship I am in until I just read this. I have been with him since I was 17 and feel as if I am ready for some freedom myself in order to really understand who I am, to grow and thrive as an individual. You are amazing, If I were in LA I’d say let get some cocktails πŸ˜‰ I hope to be able to meet you one day!

    Talia says:

    Hey Bri,
    I understand your concern whether or not to share this big life change but this blog is part of your life so a cheer for you for sharing it. Breaking up is very difficult, especially with someone who was there when you formed your life and lot of things, but it is a comfort to know that you are still friends no matter what. Maybe this is something you both needed and maybe this will take to places and experiences you couldn’t think before. Wish all the best to you and Arian embrace the change and let it do its own circle; you never know where you will end πŸ™‚

    It’s very brave of you to end a relationship that isn’t working. It’s often easier to stay in habits. To stay in the familiar. Choosing to make the break and do something hard and painful is very strong of you. Good luck with it. It hurts now but it won’t always hurt.

    Dallas says:

    Sending you love and support.

    jayme says:

    You are stronger than your know. Take heart, you are not alone, and are very loved. May the Lord take you under his wing in this time of change. More blessing to come in this new season.

    my jaw dropped. at first. then i realized how normal and natural it is for people to change and to move in different directions. and i think its great that you shared. you are resfreshing that way bri. real and honest. and blogging for you is the whole real deal,so how could you not include this part of your life. kudos to you for being you. and
    a big hug and hope for continued love in your life!

    Krystal says:

    I feel your sadness and pain….also your sense of peace which will come if not already. 5yrs ago I ended my marriage with someone I had been with for 17yrs. I loved him so very much….but I was not in love. We had been together since we were 18yrs old….high school sweethears they say. I applaud anyone who is strongly in love and devoted to their high school sweetheart because it is truely an amazing thing to be in love. But for me…..we were just too young. We never experienced anything on our own….never grew into our own individual people. Once that change started to occur….it was a difficult thing to accept. It was scary and heart wrenching but then came the peace….I could breath again and not worry or be stressed. It felt good. It wasn’t an easy ending so I am very happy to hear that things are going well with you in that aspect. Your emotions will be all over the place but know that it is important to do what is right for you. You cannot make someone happy if you are not happy. So go be happy now πŸ™‚

    Kat says:

    Hi Bri, I have been reading your blog for years and I rarely comment but just wanted to say how brave you are xoxo

    kendall says:

    you are amazing and you are the only one who knows your heart.. stay strong!

    nora says:

    Bri, good for you, it takes a lot of courage and self awareness. I ended a 6 year relationship in my twenties, and while it was hard, it was the best decision I could have made. My only regret was not coming to it sooner, as I now know the relationship had run its course earlier. We had actually recently taken a trip abroad and I knew the entire time something was just not right. The post-breakup period gave me time to focus on my career, finishing grad school, and most surprisingly to me – meet my husband. Now 30, married and pregnant, that seems like such a lifetime ago.
    Be strong and take this time to focus on yourself and what you want! (Of course, also allow yourself to cry, listen to sad music and enjoy a few cocktails).
    Wishing you the absolute best in everything.

    Krysta says:

    Breakups are tough even when they are what’s best and end well. Well, as well as a relationship can end. I’ve been through a breakup where our lives were so entwined (we had moved to NYC together and had a dog). But in the end we both knew we were holding ourselves back being together. Today we are both married and still friendly, and he see the pup when we’re in the same city!

    Paula says:

    Thank you for sharing whit us!! Beatiful words!! Wish you the best in this new chapter of your live!!

    Chri Romero says:

    Reading through this brought me to tears as I remember the 7 year relationship I ended 2 years ago. We were best friends, we were great together and then we werent. We are still friends and we are both very happy πŸ™‚ You live, you learn and things always get better! xx -Chri

    Helen S. says:

    Hi Bri,

    I really appreciate such an honest and open post, not sure if you’re up to sharing more or if you are replying to comments, but I was wondering what questions did you ask yourself that made you end the relationship? What was (I guess you could say) the “deal breaker”?

    You mentioned you had a “feeling in your heart,” but how were you able to decipher that from just normal relationship doubts? I’ve been following your blog for a few years and really value your opinion, so any insight would be helpful. Thanks! – Helen

    Veronica says:

    My 8-year relationship ended in the coldest winter in my city’s history. I moved into a new place alone on New Year’s Eve. It was hard, dark and scary. Three months later, I’ve met the person I strongly believe I was meant to grow old with, and my ex and I enjoy each other’s company in a new chapter in our lives, as friends.

    Your blog is filled with life and even if right now seems dark, know that your sunshine will radiate bigger and brighter in less time than you think.

    Casey says:

    Bri we’ve never met but it’s a testament to your blogging skills/talent/warmth that I feel like I know you. As a reader I don’t deserve to know anything of your life but I appreciate, enjoy, and am inspired by your very personal posts. You’ll be ok! Like you said, one day you’ll look back on this fork in the road and it will all be more clear. It’s kind of silly, but sometimes during the most unpleasant times in my life I picture I’m in one of those movie montages about frustration and hard work. Sure you’re doing the post-break up montage now in real-life time, but one day you’ll look back on it and only see it as the montage that led to some wonderful personal growth!

    Meg says:

    Hard times. Mostly, thank you for sharing such a personal story. I’ve been working through a lot of heartbreak of my own and can only hope, like you, that the change and the feelings get easier. We are both blessed, it seems, to still remain close to and grateful for our ex. Some think it is easier to just walk away, but I believe that being friends is more reflective of the itme you went thorugh together. I don’t regret a moment of my time with Jordy and I think that is something to be proud of.
    Sending hugs to you xx

    Sammie Ellwood says:

    Just wanted to throw my support and respect for you in the ring! Love your blog, and I’m impressed and honored that you felt comfortable enough to share this with everyone on these here interwebs. I believe that everything happens for a reason in the end, whether it’s clear or not, and the beauty is in the not-knowing of how it’s going to turn out. None of us, no matter how hard we plan or prepare or feel comfortable or complacent with the present, know exactly how our lives will unfold, and that’s something we all share. All we can do is move forward with positivity! xo

    Nicole says:

    I just wanted to say how much I admire you, even though I am completely aware that I only know your online personality and I don’t know you in real life at all. It is strange to admire someone you don’t know but there is something about you that is inspiring. Everything from your design talents to your ability to write/communicate to how open and honest you are. You seem like a genuine person and that is so difficult to come across in the many, many blogs that make up the blogosphere.

    Thank you for being open because that is what makes your blog that more special–you are relatable and not just another blogger hiding behind their artificial posts, showcasing a non-realistic life.

    Life is beautiful but it is not without its ups and downs. You add value and wholeness (if that makes sense, :P) to everything you do!

    Thank you!

    Anna says:

    oh no. i kind of wondered. πŸ™

    hang in there! i broke up with an ex after 6 1/2 years together because he didn’t want to get married. it’s been 8 years since that happened and while it wasn’t fun going through it at the time i’m glad we parted ways when we did. looking back i realized that there’s no way i would’ve been able to find the person i was met to be with (and eventually marry and have a baby with – 6 months ago) had i hung onto the idea of being with my ex.

    better things await you miss bri. i just know it.

    hugs girl.

    Emily says:

    My boyfriend who I also lived with an I broke up about 6 weeks ago as well, and something about your posts on instagram made me wonder if you were going through the same thing– it was just a feeling I had that we were on the same wavelength. You wrote a post about exes a long time ago that really meant something to me (calling an ex voldemort- the on again off again thing- we all have one of those) and this one does as well. Thanks so much for being an encouragement and for your honesty- it really matters. One hour at a time.

    Victoria Elizabeth says:

    This post and these comments are very encouraging for me! I recently ended things with my boyfriend of 5 years, and he couldn’t understand my reasons why. I just felt I no longer could see myself with him as I had grown a lot from age 16 to almost 22. I needed to date myself and understand what I needed to be happy. Stay strong Bri, it gets better. All the best!

    eleah says:

    thank you for sharing, and for the other readers for being vulnerable back. i am sending you lots of warm thoughts; this would be very hard to go through. lots of love, eleah. xo

    Nicole says:

    hi bri! sending lots of love your way. for what its worth, i have been going through some similar things with my six and half year relationship. i heard that around this time is when things get more rocky and some relationships survive the changes that life brings and other relationships grow is different directions. i have no doubt that both of you will have the life you always dreamed. you are both talented and lovely. wishing you lots of love and strength during this change. xo

    Brianne says:

    I have lots of empathy for you. Cry, write everything down, and know that it will be okay. Celebrate every emotional victory. My ex boyfriend and I were together for almost four years and breaking up was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. It was also the BEST thing I’ve ever had to go through!! I’m 100% a better person for it. Lots of love and prayers for you.

    Danielle says:

    Oh, sweet girl, I’m so sad to hear this news. I’ve been following your blog for three years and could tell that something major was happening in your life. I’ve been waiting for this post so thank you for being brave and sharing with us. Wishing you and Arian the best as you start new chapters in your lives <3

    kelly says:

    you poor thing. i feel for you. i ended a long relationship in my late twenties and it was incredibly scary. but let me tell you, every day will get better, stronger and learn so much about yourself. and you’ll be a better partner for it in the future. keep your head up and don’t be afraid to call on all of those friends of yours to keep you busy. sending happy thoughts your way. xo

    Loli says:

    this was very personal and I’m glad you had the courage to share it with your followers and fans. sending lots of love and happy thoughts your way. xo lo

    Tish says:

    Oh man… I’ve been in catch up mode. Forgive my late response, but my heart went out to you immediately. Such a brave, HARD, courageous decision. You have a mature perspective…like old soul maturity. Sending you all the love. Sending you and Arian all the light!

    Jess Zimlich says:

    My sister just went through the same thing. I’m passing this post on to her in hopes that she finds comfort that she’s not alone. I feel like these are the exact words she spoke to me when referencing her relationship. Thanks for sharing your story so that others can relate.

    Shila says:

    Hi Bri,

    Thanks for being so open and sharing the changes in your life. I admire your courage and vulnerability and wish you peace and sweetness as you adjust to a new rhythm.

    With love,


    i guess i was scrambling so much before i left on my trip that i missed this post. you know how brave i think you are, and how special both you are arian are. sometimes it’s just better to be special individually. i know you will both be well. love you, girl. xoxo

    Brittany says:

    I hope you’re doing OK. <3

    Regina says:

    Wow. It’s crazy how you’re a virtual stranger but I still feel moved by this post as I would with a friend. I can’t imagine how hard that decision was, and all the thought that went behind that. I still remember your old posts when y’all had started dating. It’s hard to believe how quickly life changes for us all but comforting to know you can call the shots 90% of the time. I admire your decision to break it off instead of staying in it and waiting for that feeling to pass because maybe it never would have. I don’t know how “the one” is supposed to feel before you’re married but I believe in trusting your gut and that itself takes guts too. Who knows where life will take you (heck, even me) but I’m sure you’ll continue to make yours lovely no matter who is in it. As always thanks for sharing Bri, keep on truckin’!

    Bridget says:

    Bri- I feel like I was meant to stumble upon this post. It’s weird- I’ve been following you for years and have been very busy the past months so haven’t been online very much. I saw all your photos from France and just knew that something had changed with you- and low and behold, it had.
    I have lived with my boyfriend for over four years now, and we started dating when I was 19. He is the most wonderful person I know and I love him with my whole heart. But something has just not felt quite right lately, and I know that I need to take time to be my own person and figure out what is wrong. It’s hard when you literally share everything with someone to explain to them how such a vague and confusing feeling should mean it’s time to separate. It’s even harder to convince yourself of this. But as each day passes, I just can’t make myself feel normal anymore in this relationship. I am still unsure of what my decision will be, but just knowing I’m not alone in this is an extreme help.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story here. It is so hard to admit these feelings to yourself, let alone share them with strangers. I am hoping all the best for you and feel so lucky to have found this posting in such an odd time in my life.
    Keep being honest, fabulous and full of light! – B

    Wendy says:

    Hi Bri,

    I went thought something similar about 3 years ago with my boyfriend then of four years. There was this feeling that I can not shake. But I still question my decision all the time even though it has been 3 years… I think about him all the time still and get the urges to tell him that I need him in my life until I recently discovered that he’s in a serious relationship now.

    I would love to follow you on this journey of finding “the one.” Would you consider doing a column or dating and relationship?


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