sometimes i write a post when i shouldn’t. maybe it’s too personal. but my blog used to just be my diary, so it’s nice to just be able to be candid on here from time to time. and usually when i am, i find that a lot of you have awesome advice and can relate to the topic as well.
today we are talking about love languages. have you ever thought about what yours are? how do you show your love? i would definitely say i show mine in actions better than words. i love picking up little gifts for arian, or planning out dates and vacations. i like writing short love notes and leaving them on his desk. or making him dinner. it’s all about actions for me.
with arian, it’s definitely different. he’s a DUDE. he likes to surf, air drum, listen to hardcore music, and talks about motorcycles. while i consider him a creative person, he is definitely not planning out our vacations or unique dates. holidays and birthdays stress him out because he thinks gift giving is overwhelming. i remember all of this stuff used to bug me. i would look at my friend’s husbands who got their wives that coat she’d been wanting, or that bouquet of flowers for no reason, or planned a surprise tropical getaway… it made me feel like arian didn’t love me the same way. (but like someone reminded me today…”comparison is the thief of joy.”) we actually used to fight about it quite a bit. and ladies i am sure you know that if you fight about flowers it definitely takes the sparkle out of the moment when you actually do get them.
but then i started trying to think about it differently. analyzing how he DOES show his love. arian is the best listener. he always takes my side. he is affectionate and loving. he always kisses me goodbye. he always drives when we go somewhere. he makes me coffee every morning. there is a lot of ways that i just wasn’t seeing clearly. which i will fully admit that it’s bratty and traditional for me to think love means flowers and date planning. and once i let that go, i started noticing and appreciating the things he does do and not just feeling resentful for the things he wasn’t.
here are the 5 love languages…which of these are you doing? (girls can sometimes be all of them!)
• WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
• ACTS OF SERVICE
• RECEIVING GIFTS
• QUALITY TIME
• PHYSICAL TOUCH
what form of love do you NEED from a partner? any deal breakers? for me, affection is important. i only tell you guys this because it was an eye opening experience for me to think about HOW we love our partners. in what ways. and maybe there are ways you’re just looking past. …xo -bri
(photo via the designlovefest instagram from our recent spain trip)