01.30.13

WHAT ANNOYS YOU?

someone i know is in marital counseling and they got a pretty interesting piece of advice…

in order to improve the relationship, you have to find out the little things that irritate you about the other person. criticism is definitely not easy to hear, but there are certainly times when we feel more ready to hear something negative about ourselves than other times. so when you are feeling strong, tell your partner that you are ready to hear 1 small thing that irritates them about you. (and maybe throw in one thing you love too) hopefully, knowing these things will bring them to your attention so you can work on them together. men, beware…ladies might say they’re ready to hear it…but i would still tread lightly.

not a lot of things drive me crazy about arian, but over the past year and a half of living together we have found a few that we have admitted to each other…

* he’s annoyed when i leave all my clothes on the ground or my drawers open. (i can be a slob)
* i think he chews too loudly. especially cereal.
* he pointed out that i interrupt sometimes when he is telling a story. (which i really want to fix!)
* i get grossed out when he brushes his teeth – far too much foam for comfort.
* he hates that i leave my computer cord across the living room floor. somehow he is the only one who trips on it?
* he’s always late, i’m always on time. which does drive me a bit nuts.
* i have to sleep with one leg in and one leg out of the blankets. this causes the bed sheets to come untucked (to me, it feels like jail when they are tucked in!) he likes tidy sheets. we’re working on it.

this list makes me laugh. every couple has their own list of funny annoyances. what are some of yours? are you ready to hear your partner’s list?

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  • 1. Lexi  |  January 30th, 2013 at 6:04 am

    These are pretty much my boyfriend and I’s pet peeves for each other, except switched around, haha.

  • 2. Annie  |  January 30th, 2013 at 6:14 am

    totally with you on the tucked in bedsheets – can’t stand it but thankfully neither can he! After three years of living together my boyf and I have annoyance lists… he has so many wires and electrical bits and pieces everywhere (we have 3 printers, tens of harddrives and numerous old game consoles lying about the place) and I am completely useless at making decisions when it comes to what to cook for dinner – this one really gets to him but I’m working on it!

  • 3. Kel Cadet  |  January 30th, 2013 at 6:40 am

    I’ve concluded that guys shouldn’t be allowed to eat cereal. period…It’s the worst.
    My hub tells me I can be a “bit controlling” in the kitchen.
    I mean, some bowls are better for mixing red sauces and salmon cake mix (note: glass doesn’t stain or hold odor like plastic)
    -this has left him out of the kitchen and me holding the ”
    what’s for dinner” cards. I’m a work in progress and he knows good take out.

  • 4. Charity Sarah  |  January 30th, 2013 at 6:59 am

    Guys should eat in their own corner of the cellar downstairs. Look, I don’t know if it was too much 20 years ago for mothers of young boys to teach them to shut their mouths, take small bites, and NOT GRUNT whilst eating… I just don’t know. What I do know is the torture that is watching/listening to chomping, slurping and grunting while trying to keep my own food down. Thankfully thats really my man’s only serious vice. I tend to be too emotional and take stuff waaaaaay serious when its kind of a joke? But he keeps my head from exploding and reminds me that there is a simpler, less highly strung side of life. So we balance each other. Its wonderful and I love him to death. Horse eating and all!

  • 5. joAnna rogers  |  January 30th, 2013 at 7:06 am

    oh man. when my husband and i got married about a year and a half ago the biggest rude awakening annoying that i discovered was his teeth brushing. so gross. when he is done he just sort of hangs his open mouth over the sink and lets the foam drip out. i was like, WHAT.ARE.YOU.DOING. did no one ever teach you to spit???
    i think his biggest pet peeve with me is that i leave my cups everywhere. coffee cup, water cup, tea cup…spread all over the house like a trail of where i spend my time all day.

  • 6. Brandy  |  January 30th, 2013 at 7:30 am

    every single one made me crack up!! i love living with my boyfriend, been together and sharing a home for 5 years now and not a lot annoys me about him but i don’t know if he’s ever eaten one leftover, ever. (that could be an exaggeration but he wastes food which gives me major anxiety).. and he always removes the drain screen so it’s a miracle it’s not clogged as we speak…

  • 7. Ergo-Blog  |  January 30th, 2013 at 8:43 am

    I can’t stand that my boyfriend takes FOREVER in the bathroom in the morning. He hates that I sometimes kick my socks off at night in the bed and forget about them so he finds them the next night. =P

  • 8. Kate  |  January 30th, 2013 at 8:54 am

    Hmm, that’s an interesting method! I’m sure I could come up with more, but off the top of my head I get annoyed when my husband puts something that’s barely dirty inside some other gross dish that’s soaking in the sink rather than just putting it straight into the dishwasher. Eww. My husband is not pleased when I leave all my recycling by the sink instead of putting it in the bin on our balcony (but hey, it’s cold AND dark out there!)

  • 9. angie  |  January 30th, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Jonathan has the most obsessive dental hygeine ever… period. While this is a good thing, it’s annoying to find his little flossers ALL OVER THE HOUSE… just lying around with tooth junk on them, waiting for my corgi to pick them up and chew on them… then guess who gets to wrestle the flossers away from the pup? Moi.

    I’m no angel, though. Among other things, he hates that I never put the toilet paper on the roll…

  • 10. Kitty Cotten  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:04 am

    I laughed with joy when I read this, because your list makes me feel so much more normal. I’m never really sure what I want to wear until I have seconds to decide and leave so I’m not too late, then our bedroom looks like a tornade hit. Sometimes I have to get up from the dinner table and turn on music because I think he chews his food waaaayyy too loud. He’s getting better. I try to remember to tiddy up in the mornings. We’re coming together, sort of… It’s funny how those little things can put a kink in your day.

  • 11. Kate  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:10 am

    Love this and needed to hear it today! I recently got back together with my boyfriend and I’m still feeling a bit insecure from our break-up (we are human, we had problems, it’s natural!). But you have to be able to talk about these things…

    Kate

    http://www.thrillofthechaise.com

  • 12. Kristen @ KV Confessions  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:14 am

    My hubby can’t for the life of him keep the bedsheets in order – we can go to sleep in a freshly made bed and by the time I wake up each blanket is scattered around in clumps. He gets annoyed with me when I don’t finish my sentences. I can get so scatterbrained and start telling a story, then completely lose focus and forget what I was talking about!

  • 13. KATIE  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:23 am

    I have to admit, I am not perfect, but my boyfriend has some issues that i can not stand(.) He likes to wash the sheets to the bed at 11pm and then finally put them on at 2am. Awesome right? NO! He leaves lights on all over the house and then I have to go around and make sure they are all turned off. Once again, not awesome…. but i love him and if thats the worst thing i can say about him, then i think he’s doing pretty good :)

  • 14. la domestique  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:29 am

    There are things my husband does that annoy me (coffee grounds all over the kitchen!) but when I feel irritated I stop and think of the alternative: if there were no coffee grounds on the kitchen counter and he wasn’t in my life, how lonely and sad would that be? I stop feeling annoyed and take a moment to be thankful for having such a good man at my side.

  • 15. Ashley / Glitter & Pixels  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:29 am

    While I totally agree that to improve a relationship you must know what you do that drives the other person crazy in the bad way, I also think you should know the things that the other person loves so much about you and you love about them. Not your hair or your smile, but the little things. I too have boyfriend eating issues haha I can’t stand to watch him eat, he eats everything in order, food can’t touch, you name it, it irritates me, but I mean I don’t think he can change the way he eats sooo I try to focus on the good. He REALLY loves to eat, and when we make a new recipe the look on his face is priceless. Focusing on those little things that you love can be really good. I also love that he never tells me how bad I sing or that I don’t know 50% of the words, he always walks in front of me when it’s snowing so he can fall first if it’s slippery, you get the point! Don’t focus on all the flaws.

  • 16. Bev  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:34 am

    This is such a fun post. My side of the sheets also need to be untucked for maximum sleep comfort. I do this thing where I have a few print magazine subscriptions so sometimes I end up with 3 months of Vogue etc on our table by the door and it can get cluttery. I have a *new* rule to recycle them when the new issue arrives (thank goodness for Pinterest! Now I can just snap a pic if I need to remember anything). He often forgets to re-seal dry goods like nuts/chips/crackers so we sometimes have some comical moments where pistachios or dry pasta come flying out of the pantry. We are looking into increasing our supply of cute lidded jars.

  • 17. alison  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:36 am

    My husband HATES that I never make the bed, and I hate that instead of making it all the way to our closet upstairs, he sheds his work clothes all over the main floor. Belt on the couch, shoes under the table, dress shirt draped over a chair…ugh! That’s pretty much as bad as it gets with him though, so I still think I’m pretty lucky:)

  • 18. alicia  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Haha awww I love this post. My boyfriend and I do for walks a lot instead of taking public transit when it’s nice out. During our walks we always discuss little things like this, what we can improve, what’s annoying. It can be a bit tough but communication is Key.
    things that annoy him about me
    - interrupting him when he tells stories (working hard on this one!)
    - whining when I get frustrated and don’t know who to do something/fix something (I hate whining, working hard on this one!)
    things that annoy me about him
    - procrastinator! we work together as freelancers and it makes me nervous when he doesn’t get things done right away
    - i get leaving dirty laundry all over the floor, but clean laundry?
    i love him <3

  • 19. Ryann  |  January 30th, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Hilarious!

    * I get incredibly frustrated with the ever growing piles of mail he either needs to save (important docs), do something with (bills), or just doesn’t feel like reading when it arrives – how is it that I never have a mail stack and he has 10?
    * I am totally not a morning person, but I want to be – so I set my alarm for really early in the morning hoping to get up workout/make myself actually look cute for the day and then talk myself out of it in the morning and end up snoozing for an hour+. I don’t blame him, I would be annoyed too. Working on this for sure.

    Luckily we are both pretty good at communicating to the other when something irritates us (without being rude) – I do think it is a really healthy practice for all relationships, after all the person you are with should always make you feel like you want to be a better person, right?

  • 20. Kait  |  January 30th, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Ha! These are so great, I totally get annoyed when my boyfriend chews loudly, although in his case he always smacks gum. Kills meeee

  • 21. Kathryn  |  January 30th, 2013 at 10:40 am

    My bf leaves pajama pants in the weirdest places.
    And coffee grounds! He makes the best coffee but he doesn’t clean up the grounds and it drives me insane!
    He also does the thing with the computer cord and I always trip on it.
    He puts up well with my clothes mess. When I get dressed I like to try on different options and then I just leave what I don’t wear to pick up later. I am otherwise a clean freak but I just leave my clothes all over the bed. I am the worst.
    I am a morning person so when I’m awake I expect him to be awake and be happy about it, too. He would be happy sleeping in and I ruin it.

  • 22. Katrin  |  January 30th, 2013 at 10:59 am

    What a wonderful idea and very helpful – I always missed the right time to tell what was annoying me. And afterwards I felt that I had waited too long.
    I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your friends!

  • 23. Amber of Purple Paparazzi  |  January 30th, 2013 at 11:19 am

    He hates that I: bring jewelry work home and ship packages from our dining table rather than the studio, leaving our table a hot mess, that I cannot and will not throw things away that I think I might need, that I have hundreds of fashion magazines (hello, Im a designer,I need those) and that I am too controlling with meals and cooking, I wish he would just do it MY way gosh darnnit……And as for my annoyances with him…..I hate his perfect body with no visible fat (rolling eyes) that he always tries to put my purse/coat/keys in the right place when I want them where I place them, and that he rocks back in our already rikity dining chair, ohhhhhh and that he sits on the couch arm agghhhhhh sometimes we feel like a parent telling each other don’t do this and that, I just love that we say it in such sweet ways where it never starts an argument :)

  • 24. Latrina  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    That’s really good advice! Because, let’s face it, we all NEED to know these things about ourselves. I would hate to be doing something for years that my husband couldn’t stand and he never told me. Luckily, my husband and I find ways to let each other know the things that bothers us about one another — probably not in the BEST way/time (so I really like your advice on waiting until you are feeling strong!) — I’ll keep that in mind. :)

    I would also like to say that I hope your friends are doing well. My husband and I have been taking marital (and personal) counseling for over a year now — and we LOVE it. Was the best thing we could do for ourselves.

  • 25. Jenna Bechtholt  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    i love that you guys did this!!! such a good idea if done with love & respect for each other. i may need to think this over & bring it up to the hubby one night. thanks, bri!

  • 26. Courtney  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Based on experience, your post, and these comments, guys clearly don’t know how to eat. Other annoyances…
    (Mine) His hair seems to shed in the bathroom sink.
    (His) I like the closet doors to remain shut at all times.
    (Mine) His drinking glasses end up all over the house.
    (His) I am always telling him the best way to get from point A to point B.

  • 27. bri  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    i can relate to so many of these! you guys are awesome for sharing.

  • 28. stephanie @Babasouk  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    Your list made me laugh out loud!!

  • 29. Emily Fitzgerald  |  January 30th, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    one leg out / one leg in = the ONLY way to sleep!

  • 30. chloe  |  January 30th, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    I see a lot of similarities between your list and ours … I wonder if some of these are kinda universal :) … or at least pretty common. Luckily there is nothing earth shattering that could end a relationship here. :)

  • 31. Amanda Farquharson  |  January 30th, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    This was so funny to me! He thinks I drink too much root beer (I do), and I get irritated when he forgets to rinse his chest hair out of the shower… So now when he forgets, that’s the only time I get to have a root beer. Weirdly… This has totally worked for us.

  • 32. Allison  |  January 30th, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    I love this idea but would have to be feeling pretty strong to make sure I don’t act like a baby. But good communication is what holds relationships together right?

  • 33. maria  |  January 30th, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    The cereal comment is so great. My husband literally has to spoon out every drop of milk from the bowl – spoon, milk, spoon, milk. It’s a complete racket! I’ve never understood why he doesn’t just tip the bowl up and drink it. Such a great post. Thanks for sharing Bri.

  • 34. Christina Pippin  |  January 30th, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    So many good laughs from this post + the comments. My boyfriend is a softie so he won’t reprimand our dog. Granted, our pup is 12 lbs of fluffy cuteness, so it’s extremely difficult to do, but if he chews a hole threw my best boots I really don’t think he deserves a rub behind the ears. A stern “no” would suffice. I’ve learned to be more patient from my beau. Sometimes I get bursts of energy when a favorite tune comes on in the car and I sing along way too loud, and he always smiles and says “Oh my,” which means “Please stop.”

  • 35. haley  |  January 30th, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    haha I think I do all of those + more!
    How about pulling the toilet paper out so far it could wrap around the bathroom twice! Well we’ve definitely all got our flaws :)

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  • 39. kacey  |  April 8th, 2013 at 7:17 am

    Why i love you:
    1. Your not selfish one bit and always put me first.
    2. You always give me compliments and tell me you love me.
    3. You pretend I’m not hurting you even if I am lol
    4. You always say sorry straight away if you swear at me
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    Why you piss me off:
    1. You always get fag ash everywhere and never clean it up
    2. You don’t open the curtains
    3. You wont take the washing out the washing machine unless i ask you too (WHY !!!!)
    4. You can never get the pillows right in the living room
    5. You always leave your pants and socks in the bathroom for me to pick up!
    6. You leave skids in the toilet and don’t clean it
    7. If i give you a nice kiss you cant help but show me your willy afterwards and tell me to suck it
    8. You always pick your nose and i never find out where your putting them bogies
    9. You don’t pop your yellow heads
    10. When you make a coffee you destroy the whole kitchen
    11. You put your jeans in the wash after one wear (not normal)
    12. You don’t sleep until about 3 o’clock in the morning and leave the tele on( annoying )
    13. Don’t leave wet fag buts on the sink ever again or i will kill you
    14. When you wash up you don’t clean the sink out after
    15. You never make the bed properly, just give up you cant do it
    16. After writing these 14 reasons and clearly stating what not to do.. if i get home to a sink full of washing up with fag ash on the side and pillows all squished and sat on with the curtains shut.. i think i will jump out of the window.

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