it takes a while to figure yourself out, doesn’t it? i was talking with a friend today about when she felt like she came into her own. you know, that year when you felt like your style was consistent or when your taste evolved?

looking back, this is something i always struggled with. i was always a person who appreciated style and all things artistic…but i couldn’t really nail what my style actually was. the more i think about it, i guess i can pinpoint a certain year where things started making a little more sense for me. when i finally got to the point where i wasn’t looking at something and trying to copy it, instead i was just doin’ my own thing. i wasn’t saying to myself anymore, “am i boho? glam? girly? edgy? SERIOUSLY, WHO THE HECK AM I?”

in 2007 i gained a bunch of weight (remember this post on how i lost it?) i remember that year going through a lot of personal changes and feeling very lost. it was a really low time, and while i was picking up the pieces, i started this blog. i found so much enjoyment in it because it felt like i was discovering who i was finally. i was documenting what i liked and why i liked it. really studying what made me feel inspired.

it wasn’t an overnight shift or anything, but i would say around 2009 i felt like something had clicked. i knew where i wanted to be, i knew the people i looked up to, i knew what made my heart jump. and after that it just took practice and research. there’s really no short way of getting to that point.

i bring this up because i look through my pins sometimes and if feels a little emotional for me. which sounds totally cheesy. but it’s true. it feels like i figured myself out. what makes my brain tick. what i love. what i definitely don’t love. it doesn’t feel so all over the place now,Β and that’s a nice feeling.

i say this mostly to inspire you to find those things, and to encourage you to experiment. and to let you know it’s hard. but that’s okay. and who knows, maybe two years from now i will laugh at this post and say to myself Β “oh geez, you thought you had it all figured out, didn’t you?”

what about you? what year did you feel like you had a consistent style that was your own?


Add your own

    I’m listening to my heart. I am grateful that as of late it’s beating wildy and happily which tells me I am on the right track! I am finding my way still; writing, blogging and making art helps. I’ll get there. The journey is sweeter now and FUN! Thanks for sharing this Bri. You are one of my BLOGSTARS simply because you are YOURSELF and it rings so clear in posts like this.

    I loved this post, Bri! I feel like the past couple of years have been a constant “evolution” towards figuring out who I am outside of motherhood. It’s been fun but also challenging and I’m always trying to find the balance. Your healthy eating post was really great too…something I’ve been working hard at for the last month. Thanks for sharing and for the encouraging thoughts πŸ™‚


    Thanks for this post and this came at the perfect time. I am a bit lost myself. I am still finding my style. My style and loves seem to change depending on my mood. There are times that I look edgy and sometimes I want to dress up like a little girl. I almost feel like I have a ton of personalities in one body and it gets confusing sometimes and I am often stuck wearing clothes I don’t feel good in and wishing I can wear things that I am afraid of wearing but I knoooow I would enjoy. I wasn’t confused back in high school and now at 35 years old, this is when I feel this identity crisis.

    I am optimistic though, I know I’ll find me soon πŸ™‚
    Nice to know you’ve been through it too, I’ve always thought you got it all together since birth πŸ™‚

    Kate says:

    Brilliant post, Bri. I think I am just starting to feel like it. But also love the ever evolving feeling like I am constantly growing into myself πŸ™‚



    Rebecca says:

    You’re an inspiration. Thanks for this post πŸ™‚

    I’d definitely say I’m not there yet. but I can feel big, big things happening, and big things changing. I too lost a lot of weight about 2 years ago, and that was a MAJOR confidence booster, and I feel like that confidence has carried over into what I make (www.etsy.com/shop/theobjectenthusiast) and what I do. I feel different now, and I’m excited to see where this takes me. Your post has totally inspired me, and has me feeling like this is something that can happen to me in the near future. Thanks so much for your openness and your ability to give others the inspiration they need to keep going. You are so cool! Thanks Bri!

    Emily says:

    Such a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. It’s such a process, “figuring yourself out,” and it can be exhausting, but it’s so comforting to be there.

    Melisande says:

    i feel like i’m getting there. i’m only 22, so i’m perfectly ok with still trying to figure myself out. i know what i love, i know what i want to do with my life, i know what i’m passionate about, and now i’m working on making it all happen.
    and i know the pinterest feeling! i love when i look at my pinboards and genuinely love everything i’ve pinned. it’s a good feeling.

    roxy says:

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m smack in the middle of the whole finding my style and what I want in life rather then the presupposed ideas that surround me. Your words are/were so helpful and inspiring!

    Shirsha says:

    This is such a great post. My previous job had me doing crazy hours – working nearly 15-16 hours on an average and 18-20 hours on bad days. Over this time, I put on about 25 pounds. I was literally like a robot and I did that for nearly 3.5 years before I was let go from the company because of downsizing. In a way, it felt like God’s way of telling me that you need to slow down now. In a weird way, it was probably one of the best things that happened to me. I was jobless for about 6 months and then I found a job which was different from my previous role and more importantly, allowed me to have a life. It’s been about 2 months at this new job and things have been great. I am struggling to lose weight but years of unhealthy eating habits don’t give up too soon. As for my style, it’s really still evolving but in the 6 month break that I got earlier this year, it helped me gain a lot of perspective and I am still really discovering myself.

    And I absolutely love your blog. Thank you for the wonderful posts.

    Thank you for sharing Bri! I feel like I am in this transitionary phase right now. Recent design grad, starting a mundane entry level job, trying to figure out what kind of voice I have. I always knew emerging from art school would be a disconcerting experience, but now that I’m here, I’m finding it so difficult to be true to myself while trying to find an edge on the market where I can succeed. I would so love to hear more about your experience in finding yourself!!
    Always an inspiration,

    Lisa says:

    Thank you for writing posts like this, so that many people don’t feel like “disordered existentialists”. I am a cancer (ups and downs soooo welcomed !!) and hard to stick to something for long, I get bored easily. So as I grew up my style (oh God) my hair (there are picture to speak) and what I thought make me happy have changed tremendously. Two years ago I dropped 20 kg of extra weight and that’s one of the biggest things I ever accomplished (now I wish I didn’t gain most of it back). But this year I think my style has changed a lot towards more sophistication and somewhat little more timeless and minimal (for me) pieces. I also know so much more for what makes me happy. In the past I have denied my feelings, being romantic and soft hiding in boy’s rappers’ pants (literally) but enjoying small pleasures brings tears to my eyes and butterflies to my stomach. Ok Bri, now I can’t stop like I’m writing a post here πŸ™‚
    I still got to know myself, especially professionally as I can not focus in only one thing to do (i believe i was born to do anything), but hey, I think I am Colombo after discovering a lot already for myself.
    Generally I believe it takes a certain age (few can figure out everything about themselves before their 20’s) and it depends on how calm you are as a person. Someone rushy and stressed and emotionally variable has a harder time chilling out and listening to themselves and being honest to the mirror.
    Thank you again girl for reassuring us what a special person/blogger you are !!

    Victoria says:

    Loved this post! Honestly, I thinkk we’re always “figuring ourselves out” whether it’s our style, our passion, or our purpose and priorities. I’m pretty sure I figured out my style back in 2005, when I left home (Los Angeles) and moved to New York City. I didn’t know anyone and there were no expectations, so I got to be me. 7 years later I’m married and back in LA. Now I’m figuring out my passion which is interior design and starting my own business. I haven’t quit my “day job” yet, but I’m putting plans in place and excited to start the next journey. Thanks for the inspiring post.

    Lexie says:

    I’m not sure if I’m ‘there’ yet, but I feel closer than I ever have before. It’s so nice coming into your own. My extra challenge is being a twin, I think. When you’re born with a built-in playmate, it’s hard to break away and be independent. But sometimes you have to break away from people you love the most in order to find yourself πŸ™‚

    Latrina says:

    Great post, Bri! I am actually not quite “there” yet — it is something I am still trying to figure out. But this post of yours brought a lot of comfort to me — I definitely don’t feel as alone now. πŸ™‚

    Emily says:

    I know EXACTLY what you mean about the pinterest thing. I don’t know that I can say I will be the way I am forever, but in my mid to late twenties I’ve finally started to feel like I can say “yes that’s ME.”

    Anonymous says:

    This is wonderful and really inspiring! I just had a baby and have been going through a very lost phase where i never know what to wear or what i like anymore, the weight doesn’t help either.. hah but anyways its nice to know that even people who’s style i look up to have had these moments <3 xx brea

    Jennifer M. says:

    I feel like the more I design, the more I find my style, although I don’t feel like I’ve arrived yet. For now I just keep trying things that interest me and I think my style will come out of that w/o my needing to overthink it too much. I don’t think a style is something you necessarily decide on, it’s more of just what happens naturally as a person is creating what feels right and good to them.

    anne says:

    This is such an amazing post, Bri. Thank you so much! I am so inspired by you, and encouraged. In the last 3 months, I’ve started to realize that I am coming into my own, and how deeply lost I really was beforehand. For most of my life I have struggled with eating disorders, anxiety, and body image issues. And in the last few months that I’ve started to get help, slow down and address these issues, I’ve realized how closed off emotionally I really was. It really kept me from getting to know the real me. I am so excited now that I am starting to know my style, what I like, what I want to do, who inspires me, etc… I definitely feel like I am on the right track. Thanks for helping me reflect on these things!

    Kirsty says:

    Hey bri,

    Thanks for the honest post. I’ve had that kind of year this year – the kind you had in 2007. I so often feel confused and look at other people and think, I want to do that or why can’t I be more like this person or creative in that way. I started a blog in May this year, and since then have learnt so much about myself who I want to be from it. Blogging seems to be a great way to learnt about yourself because you just can’t lie to yourself while writing. I’m so looking forward to that “i’ve worked it out” moment, although I doubt it will ever truly be that – you’ll never stop learning about yourself. Keep up the honest posts bri – I love them πŸ™‚

    Laurel says:

    Love this post! I just recently started a blog (for the 3rd time, ha) but it finally feels right. Finally feels like I’m sorting things out and understand what my true potential is, and the style that I feel comfortable with. Its funny b/c I just wrote a quick post about growth but kept it quite vague… still not sure how comfortable I am about sharing things that are real personal… but I think you did it in a real inspiring way where people can really connect and feel like we’re all human and go through similar things. Love how you shared about how the blog helped you to kind of come into your own. Excited for where this journey takes me as well! Its so fun to look back and see how far you’ve come! πŸ™‚

    Tianna says:

    I think the last few years for me, I’ve certainly come into my own more. But, I have more work to do. I still find myself trying to ‘look’ a certain way or what have you. I’m learning to just follow my gut though, look in the mirror and see if the look feel right and not care if anyone else does.

    shannakesler says:

    I loved this post. Your words are so inspiring. Thanks Bri!

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    Lauren says:

    I love this. I feel like you took the words out of my mouth and put them on your pretty blog! I’m a graphic design student and feel like I am constantly beating myself up over finding who I truly am when it comes to style. I just loooooove all your work so it’s very comforting to me that there’s a successful designer out there that never brushes her hair either & has struggled with “finding herself”. I always get inspiration from your posts & have never been one to leave comments, but mmmmm girl this one spoke to the heart so thank you!

    eric fuentes says:

    I stumbled onto this post by accident. I am on a supposedly enjoyable weekend trip to Seattle with my Ex and so far…. this post has been the highlight. Sad to say, but true. I want to thank you for your inspiring words in this post & on your blog in general. It’s people like you who have made it exciting to put myself out there with my own website & blogging my thoughts for the whole world to read. Scary, I’m sure you understand. Even more scary when one finds themselves in a position like you mentioned above. I can’t say I am 100% sure of who i am or how I want to represent myself but I can say I have had so much fun along the way. Thanks again, to people like you. Keep up the good work!

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